Motherhood is more than just a role—it’s an endless cycle of planning, remembering, organising, and anticipating everyone else’s needs.
The invisible mental load you carry is real, and for many mothers—especially those with ADHD—it’s completely overwhelming.
If you feel like you’re constantly making decisions, yet never really making progress, you’re not alone. Decision fatigue and mental overload are silently draining mothers everywhere, leaving them exhausted before the day even begins.
So why does this happen? And more importantly—how do you lighten the load?
Let’s dive in.
What is the Mental Load?
Mental load is the constant cognitive effort required to manage a household and family responsibilities. It’s not just doing the tasks—it’s:
🔹 Anticipating needs before they arise (Do we have enough snacks for the week? What time is the dentist appointment?).
🔹 Coordinating logistics (Who is picking up the kids? Did I RSVP for the birthday party?).
🔹 Keeping track of everything (School forms, shopping lists, bills, meal plans, appointments…).
🔹 Emotionally carrying it all (Am I making the right choices for my family?).
It’s a 24/7 mental checklist that never stops running in the background. And when you’re the one primarily carrying it? It’s exhausting.
The Science Behind Why Mothers Carry More Mental Load
Studies show that women disproportionately bear the responsibility of mental load, even in households where tasks are more evenly split.
📊 A 2019 study published in American Sociological Review found that women are significantly more likely than men to manage “cognitive labor”—the behind-the-scenes work of organising, planning, and ensuring things run smoothly. (Daminger, 2019)
Another study published in Sex Roles found that even in dual-income households, women take on more of the invisible, mental labor of parenting and household management than their male partners. (Ciciolla & Luthar, 2019)
For mothers with ADHD, this can be even harder. Executive function struggles make prioritising, planning, and switching tasks more challenging, intensifying the already-heavy mental load.
Decision Fatigue: Why Even Small Choices Feel Overwhelming
When your brain is constantly making decisions, from what to cook for dinner to which childcare option is best, it runs out of energy.
🔹 Decision fatigue happens when the sheer volume of choices drains your ability to think clearly, making even simple tasks feel impossible.
🔹 Studies show that when people make too many decisions, they default to avoidance, impulsivity, or shutting down completely. (Baumeister et al., 1998)
🔹 Research also indicates that mothers experience heightened decision fatigue due to the sheer number of daily micro-decisions involved in parenting. (Benoit et al., 2020)
💡 This is why you might:
❌ Procrastinate on small tasks, like choosing a meal or responding to a school email.
❌ Avoid making decisions altogether and put things off until the last minute.
❌ Feel mentally exhausted before the day even starts.
The good news? You don’t have to live in constant overwhelm.
Lightening the Mental Load Starts with Simplifying Decisions
If you’re struggling with decision fatigue and mental overload, the solution isn’t to push through harder—it’s to simplify, delegate, and let go of unnecessary choices.
That’s why I created a FREE Decision Fatigue Workbook—an ADHD-friendly guide to help you:
✅ Reduce decision fatigue by categorising tasks into Do, Delay, or Drop.
✅ Make choices easier by training your brain to break free from overthinking.
✅ Lighten your mental load so you can focus on what actually matters.
📥 Want a copy?
💬 Let’s chat! I’m also offering free 30-minute discovery calls to help you create personalised strategies for reducing overwhelm and reclaiming your energy.

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