You Don’t Have to Be in Crisis to Deserve Support – ADHD Coaching That Meets You Where You Are
- Sarah Hardy
- May 12
- 6 min read
Updated: 6 days ago
Reframing What It Means to Get Help as a Neurodivergent Adult
You don’t have to be falling apart to ask for help. You don’t have to be burnt out, shut down, or in crisis to need support.And you definitely don’t need to wait until everything’s on fire before you reach out.
But so many of us do.
Especially if you're neurodivergent—ADHD, Autistic, Dyslexic, or still trying to figure it all out—you’ve probably learned that support is something you’re only allowed to access once you're struggling enough to "justify" it.
That belief? It’s not just harmful. It’s a barrier that keeps people stuck in shame, silence, and overwhelm.
Want to read more?This blog is part of a 4-part series for Mental Health Awareness Month—exploring how stress, support, and self-understanding show up differently for neurodivergent people. Click here to see the full series →
The Crisis Model of Support Doesn’t Work for Everyone
Most support systems especially in education, employment, and healthcare are built around crisis.
You ask for help when:
You're behind
You're struggling to function
You’re visibly distressed
You’ve hit breaking point
But for many neurodivergent people, we’ve masked so hard, for so long, that people don’t see the struggle.
So we internalise it.
We tell ourselves:
“It’s not that bad.”
“I should be able to manage.”
“Other people have it worse.”
“I’ll wait until it’s really urgent.”
By the time we finally ask for help, we’re often running on empty—and even then, we might minimise what we’re going through.
You Don’t Need a Diagnosis to Deserve Support
Another common blocker? Thinking you need a “formal diagnosis” before you can work with a coach, therapist, or support professional.
You don’t.
Self-discovery is valid.Late discovery is valid. Needing support before you tick every box on a checklist is valid.
You know your own experience better than anyone else. If something feels hard, overwhelming, or unsustainable—it matters. And you deserve help navigating it.
“But I’m Not That Bad…”
This belief comes up all the time in coaching:
“I didn’t want to waste your time.”“I kept meaning to book a call but didn’t feel like I was doing badly enough.”“I ghosted you after our intro call because I felt embarrassed I hadn’t done anything yet.”
Most coaches who work with neurodivergent people understand this. We know how hard it is to take the first step. We know how shame, RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria), and perfectionism can get in the way.
We’re not judging you for needing time.We’re just glad when you come back.
Coaching Can Be Supportive Before You’re in Crisis
You don’t need to have a 10-point action plan, or be in the middle of a breakdown, to benefit from coaching.
Coaching can help when you’re:
Feeling stuck, but can’t explain why
Wanting to do things differently but don’t know where to start
Juggling work, parenting, and masking—and feeling like you’re constantly dropping balls
Struggling to follow through, manage time, or create sustainable routines
Tired of carrying everything alone
Support isn’t a reward for burning out. It’s a tool to help you avoid burning out in the first place.
What If You Reached Out Sooner?
What would it look like if you gave yourself permission to get support before you hit a wall?
Would your day feel a little less heavy?
Would you have more energy for the things that matter?
Would you stop believing you're "failing" and start seeing how much you’ve been managing on your own?
You’re allowed to get help even when things are just okay. You don’t need to break down to deserve a breakthrough.
And If You’ve Avoided Reaching Out…
That’s okay too.
Maybe you ghosted someone after a free intro call.Maybe you missed a session and never followed up.Maybe you meant to fill in that form and then felt too embarrassed to send it.
You’re still welcome here.
You’re not “too late.”
You didn’t mess it up.
You’re human.
What Coaching Can Look Like
Coaching with me isn’t about goals, hustle, or productivity for productivity’s sake.
It’s about:
Understanding how your brain actually works
Building systems that fit you—not trying to squeeze yourself into someone else’s
Unlearning shame, perfectionism, and urgency culture
Finding what lights you up, and figuring out how to do more of that
Whether you're running a business, managing the mental load at home, or trying to make sense of late-diagnosed ADHD or Autism, you don’t have to do it alone.
Ready to Start?
If coaching feels like something that could help—but you’re not sure you’re “ready” or “doing badly enough”—that’s okay.
Start where you are.
I keep one part-funded coaching place open at a reduced rate for those who might otherwise struggle to access support.
🛑 A Gentle Note on Mental Health & Coaching Support
While coaching can be a powerful and therapeutic space, it isn’t a substitute for mental health crisis support or clinical care.
If you’re currently experiencing an active mental health crisis—feeling unsafe, overwhelmed, or like things are too much to manage—please know that you don’t have to go through it alone. Coaching may not be the right support in those moments, and it’s important to speak to someone trained to help.
I know (first-hand) that reaching out to a GP can sometimes feel like a mountain to climb—especially if you're already navigating Rejection Sensitivity, communication barriers, or long waits just to get through reception. But help is still available.
There are free, confidential services that don’t require appointments, long explanations, or phone calls—because I understand how hard even that can feel.
📱 Text Support (UK-based):Shout offers free, 24/7 mental health support via text.Just text SHOUT to 85258 to speak with a trained volunteer.Confidential. No pressure. No speaking required.
📞 Call Support:Samaritans are available 24/7, free of 116 123 to talk to someone completely confidentially.They’ll listen without judgement—whatever you’re going through.
If you’re in immediate danger or need urgent help, please call 999 or visit A&E.
You are not a burden.
You matter.And you deserve the right kind of support—whatever that looks like for you today.
FAQ: Coaching vs. Crisis Support
Do I have to be in crisis to work with a coach? Not at all. Coaching is often most effective before things feel unmanageable. It’s a space to explore what’s working, what’s not, and howyou want to move forward.
Is coaching therapy? No—coaching isn’t a substitute for therapy, especially during active mental health crises. But coaching can be therapeutic in how it helps you understand and support yourself differently.
What if I’ve avoided reaching out or feel embarrassed? That’s normal. You’re not alone in that feeling. Coaches who work with neurodivergent clients understand how hard reaching out can be—and we’re just glad when you do.
How does ADHD, Autism or Nuerodiversity coaching work? Check out the details of my coaching programme here.
A Note on Perspective, Experience and Understanding
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