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Writer's pictureSarah Hardy

Breaking the RSD Spiral: Building Understanding and Connection

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) can take even the smallest misunderstanding and turn it into a spiral of hurt feelings, defensiveness, and disconnection. This emotional cycle is common for people with RSD, and it’s especially challenging in relationships where both individuals may be sensitive to perceived rejection.


The good news? While RSD adds complexity to communication, there are intentional steps you can take to break the cycle and create understanding, connection, and emotional balance.


Understanding the RSD Spiral


RSD can magnify minor comments or actions, creating an automatic reaction that feels deeply personal. Without realising it, you may respond from a place of perceived rejection, not the actual situation. This can lead to defensiveness, escalating emotional tension, and a disconnection that feels hard to escape.


Steps to Break the RSD Cycle


  1. Pause Before Reacting:

    When emotions run high, take a moment to ask yourself: Am I responding to what’s really happening, or am I reacting to a possible or perceived rejection? This simple pause can shift the tone of the entire conversation.


  2. Assume Positive Intent:

    If this is someone you trust, remind yourself of their past actions. Chances are, their words or behavior aren’t meant as criticism. Approaching the situation with curiosity instead of defensiveness creates space for understanding.


  3. Clarify, Don’t Assume:

    Misinterpretations are common with RSD. Instead of reacting based on assumptions, ask questions to clarify intent. This builds trust and prevents unnecessary hurt.


  4. Acknowledge the Impact:

    Recognise how RSD affects both sides of the relationship. This awareness fosters patience, support, and mutual understanding, even when emotions feel intense.


Fostering Connection Despite RSD


RSD can add emotional layers to relationships, but it doesn’t have to create distance. By practicing self-awareness, adopting a mindset of curiosity, and assuming the best in others, you can navigate RSD in a way that strengthens connections rather than eroding them.


Imagine being able to:


  • Respond thoughtfully rather than react emotionally.

  • Approach conversations with curiosity, not defensiveness.

  • Build deeper understanding and trust in your relationships.

Breaking the RSD spiral takes intentionality, but even small shifts in mindset can create lasting change.


Coaching Can Help You Navigate RSD


If RSD is impacting your relationships or daily life, coaching provides tools to:


  • Build emotional awareness and self-regulation.

  • Strengthen communication skills to foster connection.

  • Develop strategies to break the RSD spiral and create healthier interactions.


You don’t have to navigate this alone. Together, we’ll create a plan to help you communicate more effectively, build stronger connections, and feel more in control of your emotional responses.


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